At the end of the summer, Jim Beam invited out the Muskoka’s for a weekend I wouldn’t forget. A weekend that would go down in history. So I hopped in the car and headed about 3 hours outside the city on a 40-degree day to go sip bourbon, hang out with the band I manage, Luke Austin and finally see The Sadies live. I think I’m the only person in Toronto who has never seen them play before.
I was given a room at the Cleveland House Resort which opened way back in 1883. It was also probably the last time the room they gave me was cleaned. I’m not one to complain (out loud) but the amount of bugs and screaming children in the rooms around me was painful. Others were given what seemed like nicer rooms, so I guess I wasn’t that important, or I was made to suffer for my sins. Survive the night in this room and you will have made history! Thankfully we didn’t have to spend much time in the room and opted to hit the beach and crack some brewskis. This was the last long weekend of summer which really makes no difference when you’re an adult. Every week is the same shit. After a few brews, and a good hour in the sun getting tanned and dangerous we headed to Frankie’s Surf Club which served up some delicious tacos. Like super delicious tacos. Frankie’s is owned by the guys who started Grand Electric in Toronto, and I highly recommend checking it out if you’re in the 6ix. It used to be one of those places where you’d line up for hours to get in but I think those days are over. I don’t know anymore, I’m more of a homebody. After some shots, cocktails, beers, and hot hot sun at Frankie’s it was time to head back to the Bate’s Motel, I mean resort where I’d try and nap but the spiders crawling across my pillows prevented me from sleeping, so it was back to the porch to shotgun some beers. YOLO.
As the sun set, and I thought about all the things I didn’t do this summer, like drive a boat, fall in love under the stars, go streaking while wearing a gorilla mask yelling, “Dicks out for Harambe” I heard the sounds of a Jim Beam rep yelling out my name. So I sprayed on my signature cologne, slicked back my hair and hopped in the car to go to the venue. It’s funny to be on a “blogger trip” and also manage a band that’s the night’s entertainment at the same time. We had agreed that I was going take it easy, and I’d just be in the background enjoying my long weekend after a summer from hell. This would also be the last time I work with the band as we parted ways a few weeks after. The venue was pretty cool, albeit dark. There was a boat docked right behind the drummer Mike. The stars were out. And the drinks we’re certainly pouring. It was a pleasant way to end summer. After Luke, The Sadies hit the stage for a very average set, which would explain why Toronto loves them so much. Cookie cutter blue grass, rock ‘n’ roll is all the rage if you wear a plaid shirt, drink green teas and hang out on Ossington. Once the musical acts had ended it was time to head back to the resort, unfortunately.
If you’re going sleep in a bug infested bed, it’s handy to have a bottle of Jim Beam with you to poor on the fuckers. They won’t survive the liquid and you won’t remember it. It’s a win-win. Armed with a bottle of the stuff I pulled my hoodie over my head and hit the bed throwing my pants on the ground under the bed.
Waking up with a gigantic hangover and a half drunken bottle of bourbon on my lap was a wonderful way to start the morning. Kids were screaming all around me, crying and laughing and yelling for their mothers. I threw on my pants in a hurry and hopped back in the car. I’d missed breakfast so it was time to head to town. There’s an expression called, “Ants in your Pets”. It means to be extremely restless, uneasy, impatient, or anxious, as in This child just can’t sit still; she must have ants in her pants. This rhyming idiom calls up a vivid image of what might cause one to be jumpy. It was also a weird Canadian TV show from the 90’s. Canada had a lot of weird TV Shows in the 90s. Member Bump in the Night?
Now ants in your pants can also mean literally as I found out the hard way. On the drive to brunch, I felt something moving around my crotch area. Something was running and biting my thighs. At first, I thought I was going crazy until I ripped off my pants and found a big old’ ant from the resort hanging onto my leg biting down as hard as he could. This might have been the worst hangover experience ever, and this might shock you, but I’ve been hungover a few times in my life. This guy didn’t even want to stay at the resort and he was a big dirty ant.
So there you have it, my weekend with Jim Beam. This will be one of my final Lifestyle posts as I transition to only gaming, entertainment, movies, and tech from here on out. Maybe I’ll get a lifestyle writer in the future but for now, I’m out of the lifestyle game until I can figure out a way to shake things up.
It’s also the end of my run with Luke Austin. It feels weird to write and to think about. We’ve been together so long and became so close, but the music industry is just not something I want to be involved with anymore. That’s why in the coming months I’ll be working on managing YouTube stars and eSports players with STDx. eSports is still very new in Canada and I’m excited to be a part of it. I’ll continue to listen to music on the daily but I won’t miss being crammed in a van with 4 dudes talking about boobs.
I haven’t been able to drink Jim Beam since that weekend, but when I do here’s my drink of choice:
1.5 parts Jim Beam® Honey
4 parts Lemonade
Splash of Club Soda
Garnish with Lemon Wheel (Try not to sing Wagon Wheel while you read that)